UNWELL, by Matchbox Twenty
[Update: I like this clip a lot too....it shows how much of his distorted world actually comes from his surroundings - his pet dog, the toy planes and cars he plays with, the little green bear. I even found the T-shirt he wore rather cute. The statement "Love Me" inscribed may sound simple, but it's quite poignant, imploring people to love him regardless and not judge him because of his current condition.]
All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
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This became one of my all-time favourites since its release in 2002, and it still is. =)
I loved it initially because of its tune and the banjo accompaniments. Unusually, I never really paid heed to the lyrics until recently.... when I did my six-week psychiatry rotation. heh. Now I love this piece even more, because it sums up what it may be like having a mental illness - or more specifically, delusions of persecution/psychosis/paranoid schizophrenia with possible mood disorders.
"All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something....."
It struck me how the voices he hears are actually giving him hope to live another day. And it saddens me because he knew (deep down inside) they're not real, that he's getting unwell.
I shudder to think how it feels like when truth hits you hard on the face - to realize that you're losing grasp of reality....
Labels: Random thoughts
