If you've ever thought that consultants are very BORING people, think again.
Just to quote a few interesting exchanges (as far as I could recall) between doctors and students during ward rounds/outpatient clinic sessions/tutorials:
[NB: Names shall not be disclosed in this entry. =P]
1. While looking at a patient's past medical record and commenting on the cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) changes of TB meningitis:
"Always remember that bacterial meningitis DOES not present like this. Look at the protein counts. Bacterial's usually around 4-5; TB meningitis, on the other hand, is usually above 5....I've got a patient last year who hit 9 on admission! With levels THAT high, his CSF would have been like toothpaste!!"
[A very vivid description, I must say. His lumbar puncture (LP) procedure must have been a very difficult one]
2. On galactocoeles:
"Sometimes, the breast ducts in lactating women become congested and blocked....so milk cannot flow out. The problem with that is milk solidifies in body temperature, so you COULD say that.... a galactocoele is like having a lump of CHEESE forming in your breast!"
[Well, I've never thought it like that before!!! XD]
3. Upon realizing that we had to leave his ward round for an OSCE briefing:
"....YPB."
"What's YPB???"
"You Poor Buggers...."
4. When we ALL instantaneously turned towards the patient, after the doctor told us to "take a quick look and note her general appearance":
"Don't you ALL turn at once!!! She'll know that we've been talking about her! Good God, can't you be a little more discreet???!!!"
[The doctor was absolutely right, though we can't help but find his "chiding" funny at that point]
5. On noting that someone's bag and file were in the ward floor:
*Gestured me to come over, and while pointing at the bag*
"Are these yours?"
"No, they belonged to ------"
"If those were yours, I'll have to spank you." *grins*
"??????!!!!!"
*Intern quickly chipped in*
"The floors here are heavily infested with bugs. You wouldn't want to contaminate your belongings...."
[ (-_-") (-_-") (-_-") (-_-") (-_-") ]
More updates later (if I can remember more stories, that is)
[update:]
6. On why diverticulosis is more common among Westerners:
"HOLDING ON TO THEIR FARTS MUCH TOO LONG, AND THEREFORE INCREASING THE INTRALUMINAL PRESSURE!!!!"
[ROFLOL!! Imagine that coming from a colorectal surgeon!! He's joking btw....=P]
Labels: Medicine/Hospitals/Medics
