How difficult it would be, learning something you could clearly identify with, grappling issues you have experienced before.
How painful it was, when others highlighted subjects on cancer, death and bereavement, while one's mind raced back into the past.
How akward it became, when my voice started to break, when I could hardly complete sentences, when tears welled...
How foolish and angry I felt, when this was all happening during my HP tutorial, at a time and place where no one really knew what happened to my grandmother.
Stupid stupid girl. This might not happen if you've kept things to yourself.
How I fervently wished time and again that class would end sooner, so I could flee.
How emotional and helpless I became at the end of it all, despite thinking I've gotten over it.
How touched I was when Aisyah and Charlotte tried to help.
How shocked I was when Brett (HP tutor) apologized after class.
And I thought I could share some of my experiences with them....on coping with cancer, on challenges my family faced.
It still hurts, deep down inside.
I guess I'm not ready yet.
If only....
