Jokes
1. You know it's time to diet when...
a. You dance and it makes the band skip.
b. You are diagnosed with the flesh-eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
c. You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.
d. You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
e. Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."
f. You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture.
g. You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
h. You could sell shade.
i. Your blood type is Ragu.
2. The evolution of Medicine:
I have a headache ...
2000 BC - Eat this root.
1000 AD - That root is infected. Say this prayer.
1850 AD - That prayer is superstition. Drink this potion.
1940 AD - That potion is snake oil. Swallow this pill.
1985 AD - That pill is ineffective. Take this antibiotic.
2000 AD - That antibiotic is artificial. Eat this root.
(-_-")
3. Dental Joke
Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doc, it isn't all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the 4 o'clock cricket game....
4. Prescriptive compliance:
A woman in Arkansas brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had an ear ache.
He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right" as an R with a circle around it.
Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.
The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label: "Put two drops in R ear every four hours."
Picture jokes
