Thursday, September 29, 2005
Found this survey circulating around Friendster which I find 'different'. Thought I'll give it a shot here.
10 YEARS AGO (1995) I:
1. met & made many new friends
2. suddenly enjoyed choral speaking
3. gained a LOT of weight...heheh
FIVE YEARS AGO (2000) I:
1. acted in a school play, in which my character shocked everyone I know in school =p
2. enjoyed being involved in our 1st school carnival
3. nearly had to take part in a malay public speaking session....it was unnerving, considering I have stage fright
TWO YEARS AGO (2003) I:
1. was somehow dubbed 'basketball legend' by my coach cum maths tutor after a basketball session in camp o.O....must be the lucky shots.....
2. began to appreciate literature, history of ideas and drama....=D
3. was bitter (for a while) over university applications
ONE YEAR AGO I:
1. nearly had a major setback, in terms of admission into IMU...thank goodness it was settled
2. learnt sign language (I have forgotten ALMOST everything by now) =p
3. messed up my foundation 2 and CVS =p
YESTERDAY I:
1. still cried. quite a lot. (don't ask)
2. was still distracted from my work (once again, don't ask)
3. washed my hands so frequently till they were dry....no, I'm not suffering from obssesive compulsive disorder (OCD).....ever heard of nursing-barrier?
TODAY I:
1. need to fix a CSU session with Dr. Htin for PBL group....we don't know how to palpate the thyroid yet....
2. will go sweat out in the gym with CB. that might increase my endorphin levels....
3. have to study even harder to catch up....
TOMORROW I WILL:
1. revise Mandarin....test this sat. =(
2. finalize my elective report
3. watch a good cartoon.....to keep me in high spirits
THREE SNACKS I ENJOY:
1. Sneakers, but I can't eat them anymore (read: braces)
2. Twix (can't eat them too...)
3. Pizza *grins*
THREE THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT:
3Fs:
1. Family
2. Friends
3. FOOD!!! (it's a gastronomical affair =p)
THREE THINGS I COULD BUY WITH $1,000:
1. a terrier (I want one!!!)
2. a good camera
3. loads of good books.....non-academic please
THREE BAD HABITS I HAVE:
1. I seldom clear my study table after work
2. I snack (a lot) prior to exams....no wonder I gained so much weight before EOS 3
3. I leave things around the house, and can't seem to remember where I left them later =p
THREE THINGS I WOULD NEVER WEAR:
1. skimpy attire
2. clothes that somehow choke the living daylights outta you! comfort definitely comes first....
3. g-string....(ewwww)
THREE SHOWS I LIKE:
1. Fairly odd parents
2. Tokyo Godfathers (anime- movie)
3. Avatar: the last air-bender
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Sze yuen
2. yuen/ yuen-yuen
3. ongie/ongkie
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I can focus really well on any work once I have the motivation to complete them
2. I can pick things up pretty fast, provided I concentrate in the first place! =p
3. I can sense things when something's amiss, I can feel when someone's feeling eneasy, and I can predict the outcome of numerous incidents (scary no?) But not ALL the time la!
THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I'm a push-over at times....hence I scare people away! =p
2. I find myself overeacting sometimes - and I find that extremely ridiculous.
3. I'm still reserved.....perhaps it's because I'm afraid to speak at times??? major problem here....O.o
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. lizards
2. creepy-crawlies
3. horror movies.....I turned into jelly everytime I watch one, no matter how mild it is. Hence the reason I try to avoid them...*grins*
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. a blue, long-sleeved top
2. prussian blue pants
3. black boots
*adhering to IMU dress code =p*
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/MUSICAL ARTISTS:
*too many la*
1. Nickelback
2. Sarah Brightman
3. Yanni
(unusual combo huh?)
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12MONTHS:
1. KENDO!!!! (if I can't find any classes, then I'll settle for wushu...heheh)
2. learn to play the Chinese bamboo flute
3. baking lessons??? *grins*
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I was the head librarian in junior high
2. I like cats
3. I'm very afraid of commitments....
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Whistle *pbbbffff* *spppffff* *pppphhhhblll!!!*
2. Lick my elbow
3. Do a 180 degree split....that would be terribly PAINFUL
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Swimming
2. Painting, or anything to do with art....but I've stopped for quite a while now. no longer inspired to do so.... =(
3. Reading good novels
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Watch a really GOOD comedy/ anime/ cartoon!
2. Read a jolly good novel
3. Just laugh....
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Paediatrician
2. Opthalmologist
3. Interior decorator??? HAHAHAH!!!
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Mom and bro had sore eyes for quite a while. Sadly, they had gotten worse in the last few days....Both of them went to see an eye-specialist just this morning. The doctor (Dr. Baljit) was aghast. Their sore eyes turned out to be not one of the bacterial conjuntivitis one normally finds. It was keratoconjunctivitis - viral, severe. Bro had been complaining of severe eye pain, especially on his right. It must have been excruciating, for he cried. A lot. On examination, there were abrasions on his conjunctiva and cornea.
And so does mom. Now both of them have dentritic ulcers.
And to make matters worse, bro's good eye is now affected....So far, they had their affected eyes "patched up". And they have another eye-check tomorrow. If their condition still do not improve then, they might even be admitted to the hospital for observation. According to Dr. Baljit, if their conditions deteriorate even further, there is a chance (esp. bro) that they go blind.....Oh God, I can't bear this any longer. It's just so hard seeing them this way. Please let them recover.......
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Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Sometimes, things are just not what they seem.
A few claimed I'm calm, cool and collected.
Many said I look serious - wearing my heart on my sleeves, indifferent in many aspects.
Occasionally I looked strained, but people reassured me that it's alright, so long as I do not go bonkers.
Almost everyone tells me I am smart and diligent.
And that I am nice to be with.
And so they say these are good traits in medicine.
Okay.
But is that all?
Is that all I am worth to you?
Simple and clean? Easy? Down right predictable?
How superficial.
It is said that human beings are complex creatures.
I am no exception....
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Reminiscing. Reflecting.
On how I have spent my last twenty years down the road.
On things which were once fulfilling to me.
On simple pleasures .
On fate.
How blissful I once was then...
Gone were the days when I found joy in pastimes.
Gone were the days when I learned with passion.
Gone were the days when I was enthusiastic, expressive.
Gone were the days when I used to be...myself.
Perhaps it is true that the idle mind is the devil's workshop.
I feel so blind. Lost. Confined to a dark corner, waiting...just waiting...
Just in case you (still) did not get the drift, I am currently in the midst of an identity crisis.
But I thought identity crisis only happens during the teen-phase?
Fine, call me a late-bloomer then...*sulks*
Looking back at what I have written in this entry makes me hate myself even further.
Who the hell am I now???
This is not who I was before I joined medical school.
Strange though it seems....perhaps I need change. Fresh air. It may help pull myself back together again....
What's so unusual about that? Everyone likes change.
But I actually like routines all along. Everything nicely arranged works for me. No hassles. No chaos. Ahh.....
*yawns*
How my perception has changed since I joined IMU.... *ahem*
All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl. That is SO true....How I fervently wished for something out of blue.....
Heck, academia alone is making me nuts already... I NEED SOME EXCITEMENT PEOPLE!
Ironically, most people tend to relate me with WORK and BOOKS. o.O Nothing else..
"Oh, THAT girl ah? Don't know her meh? There, the one who always sits in front, with her nose stuck to a medical book....goes to the library every day wan...she demn smart, very scary wan leh...study non-stop only....."
To make matters worse, there are a number who only approaches me whenever they seek 'medical counsel':
"Eh, how did you manage to pass your EOS 3 ah? Very smart la you!! Got tips ah?"
Or
"Hey friend, what to study for XXX exam ah??? I got so many things to do la...demn stress already!!!!"
Or
" Hey....I dun understand this concept la....teach me. TEACH ME!!!!"
But you should be flattered wat...Of course I am flattered by such attention (Who isn't?) At least for a while. The fact that these people seek such 'counsel' shows that they believed I can help them make their 'academic lives' much easier. Fair enough.
But that was it. Purely academics. And once they got what they wanted, these monkeys (pardon the language) even have the nerve to ignore me completely when our paths meet.
HELLO!!!
So you didn't see me? Right. Oh come on, I was right in front of you! At most two metres away mah! And considering there are far slimmer counterparts in campus, surely you can't miss me...I don't think I'm that insignificant lor. Can't you at least say "Hi!", wave, nod your head or simply smile? Hello....I WAS WAVING AT YOU LA!!!! Still cannot see meh???
Okay, I have strayed. Back to the topic.
See how and where this is going to?
I guess it won't be long before people in campus thinks "Oh, she's just one of those hardworking and smart ones." *shrugs shoulders*. Period.
Do you have any idea how FRUSTRATING it is when people "type-cast" another, simply from appearances alone? Heck, they are just scratching the surface. There is more to me than work....
I hate being stereotyped. It suffocates me so much so that I'm no longer.....me. I want others to acknowledge me as a friend, confidante....FLESH & BLOOD FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! Not some dusty, medical book one shoves to a corner when one is done with it. I don't work that way.
So to hell with society's expectations and perceptions.
And to HELL with conforming to the norms!
I'm sick and tired of being who I am today.
I sense Change is at hand....
PS: I'll be fine.
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Saturday, September 24, 2005
Bro saw my newly acquired tendon hammer on the table. After removing the hammer out of the 'velvetoid sack', he took a swipe at my left knee, hoping to elicit the arc-reflex....
One word: EEEYEOW!!!!
Well that was last night, and thankfully my knee's alright. *wipes sweat off brow*
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Saturday, September 17, 2005
I finally had two out of my four 1st premolars extracted yesterday, after having my braces fitted two days ago. The verdict: I didn't know I could BLEED so much!!! Yikes!!!! Two down, two more to go.....
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Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Just realized that I have to sit for a two-hour English Placement Test in IMU at 10.45am, 19th Sept. 2005 in the Multi Purpose Hall (MPH).
Bummer.
*raging inferno*
After all the English tests we had to endure....and why inform us at the last minute????
Can't they just tell us six weeks ago, when we collected our EOS results?
Or at least mail an announcement slip together with a copy of the result slip to our parents???
Then everyone could be informed, and there will be no need for the poor SRC members to circulate the news! [they have enough work already...so spare them la!!!]
@(&%*$^%#%*#^%(@%!!!!!!
*inferno ends*
To M104s: Kindly pass the word around....there are many who are still in the dark.
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
In exactly one week, my fourth term shall begin. *sigh* Just when I'm beginning to enjoy the term break..... ><" Anyway, I'll make the most of it while it lasts. Heheh. The highlights of today's entry: 1. Min's recovering from mumps! *yay!* A big Thank You! to all well-wishers. =D And the rest of the family are fine (so far). Hope it stays that way...*grins* 2. I have managed to lose 2kg in the last 14 days. It may not be much to many, but I'm quite happy with the results. My stamina's improving a little too. It's difficult though.....all I can hope now is to gradually lose those "flabs" and be healthier by 2006. =)3. Mandarin is....not easy, but it sure is FUN! You can imagine the amount of mispronounciations we made in class, and that a change in tone gives the character a different meaning altogether. Blunders abound! =D Well, at least I can understand a couple of simple dialogues right now. lol! I am certainly going to miss those lessons when it ends in three weeks. 4. So far, I have read up bits and pieces of Endocrinology, Reproductive System, Renal, Rheumatology, Semester 2 foundation II & Medical Imaging for med. students : all 'Crash Course' versions. *grins* Well hey, I'm still a slacker, and shall be one for a very loooong time....hehehe. 5. Bro might be taking violin lessons after his finals! Yipee!!! Then I can learn a little from him when he practised....lol! I did take violin lessons before, but I was an impatient bum back then, so it didn't work out. It wasn't long before I quit. =( Should have continued....And last, but not least: 6. I have another dental appointment tomorrow! *prays again*
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Saturday, September 10, 2005
It was one of dad's 'spur of the moment' which led me to the orthodontist's dental chair yesterday. "Why did I say so?" you might ask. It all boils down to that fateful day when I knew one of my closest friends had braces. When I told dad about it, he quipped, "Well, why don't you get one too?"
I knew that was coming. He had been persuading me to wear them in the last couple of years, but to no avail. You see, I have this innate fear of dentists, and the mere thought of having my teeth "wired up beyond recognition" is so.....nerve-wrecking. Nonetheless, I decided to give this one a shot. I have been putting it off for so long, and as dad said, " We'll go for a consultation first. Ok? Besides, if you really need to wear them later...it's only for two years. So how bad can that be?" *gulp* And so I gave the green light.
Never have I ever thought my dad would be so quick. The very next day, he told me cheerfully that I have an appointment with an orthodontist the following day!!!*hyperventilating syndrome commenced*
The orthodontist ( a Dr. Mohamed) and his medical staff were, thankfully, very professional and pleasant. Boy, did they put me into ease so quickly! *looks like they have mastered behavioural sciences* It wasn't long before I agreed to have braces on.
Then the recordings took placed immediately. I had my teeth/jaw moulds done, was whisked into the X-ray room, and had digital photos taken. All was completed in approximately 40 minutes. [think I'll explained the 3 procedures the next time round =)] It didn't take long before we made another appointment, paid the bill, and returned home.
And yes, dad was definitely estatic....
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Friday, September 09, 2005
Scenario: Min (my sis) came home with a right sore eye about five days ago. She claimed it itches, and when she rubbed her eyes, it hurts a lot. Suspecting conjunctivitis, we started her off with spersodexoline (steroidal eye drops) and fucithalmic (viscous eye drops). The medication reduced the inflammation initially. Then three days ago, she complained of pain around her lower right jaw. Since she had no fever, Dad thought it was muscle ache, as she laughed so hard (over something I can't recall) the day before. The very next day, Min's affected jaw became swollen, and she complained of pain in her right ear. On examination, there was a swelling from the jaw to the back of the ear, resembling a 'horse-shoe'. Even the peri-orbital region of her right eye looked slightly oedematous *alarm bells ringing* So what was the diagnosis? It turned out that the 'horse shoe' swelling is a classical presentation of: Mumps.
Now wait a minute. She had been immunized against the mumps virus before, so shouldn't she have attained life-long resistence? I then discovered that the MMR jab/boosters have around 90% protection.....so somehow Min was one of the unfortunate 10%. =(
Xiang (my bro) and I naturally panicked. Mumps is air-borne, and since Min is our sis....close-contact is inevitable. Donning face-masks and isolating her wouldn't help us much now, said Dad. Mumps has an incubation peroid of about 21 days before the patient becomes symptomatic, so yeah....we all have been exposed to the virus long before we realized it.
On a lighter note, Dad stated that since she had been vaccinated, she did not manifest all the classical signs of mumps. She had no fever, no anorexia, no bilateral parotitis...and hopefully will not have any complications. This is probably the reason why the diagnosis eluded us momentarily. Min was one of the 10% "breakthroughs" - meaning the virus managed to 'break into her immune system, and cause utter mayhem within' *gulp*
I feel sorry for her. Even sad. Min has not been in the pink of health for the past couple of weeks, getting one sickness after another before the latest revelation. Perhaps stress was her undoing - so many assignments to complete, school carnival's tomorrow, and her finals is just 2 1/2 weeks away [Would you believe that the school simply brought forward the exams, and informed the students just 2 days ago? To top it off, the school syllabus is still not finished, and the count-down was initially a month!!! Nuts. I would have gotten a sudden cardiac death should that happened in med. school...] I guess all I can do now is to ensure she feels as comfortable as possible, hoping she will recover soon.
And now I pray the rest of our family are part of the 90%.....
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Tuesday, September 06, 2005
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Saturday, September 03, 2005
Losing "spare tyres" is not an easy feat. Seriously. In just five days after I've gone on a calorie-controlled diet, I've begun to miss so many things: white bread, rice, hot creamy soups, bananas, fresh milk, tempura, PASTA!!!, ice-creams, cakes, chocolates, cookies....and basically almost every dessert you can possibly imagine (well hey, I'm a sweet tooth, so sue me) On top of that, my bro still got the cheek to eat them right in front of me!!! *sulks in a corner*
Despite the temptations, I've managed to ward them off......and frankly speaking, I find that a miracle! [Scenario: Me sitting cross-legged with eyes closed, chanting "See no evil, hear NO evil...yadayadayada"] So, what more can I say? So far, so good!!! Boy, am I feeling so proud of myself at the moment. *Cheshire-cat-like grin*
Another 17 days more to go.... *sigh*
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